having a moment

July 14,2011

I find myself looking at pictures and thinking about the crazy 10 months of my life I just spent as a focus.one student. It makes me realize something I hadn't had a chance to ponder yet.
 
Moments, the things we take pictures of, memories. They usually are not created on purpose. They just happen. Long after a moment happens do I realize how special "that one time" actually was. 

We all have times we wish we could go back to. Re-live. Do differently. Then I think, "that must have happened exactly how the Lord would want it to." it's pretty illogical thinking to the random person on the street and you might think it crazy. I throughly believe that I have had all these experiences in the past year because there were things he had planned for me to learn as a result. 

All the arguments, the moments of disbelief, the anxiety, the frustration, the joy, the peace, the long nights, the sacrifices, the waiting, the heart ache...I wouldn't change those moments for anything. They made it possible for the smoothing out of the dents in my heart.  

Though I definitely miss my class, I lived so much life with them in so short a time. Though I wish I could go back and tell myself that some things need to be cherished more, or to tell myself to take a picture. I wouldn't change a thing...I'm now more whole. Whatever He has planned for tomorrow is fine with me...I'm so excited to make some more memories :) are you?

The destination is the journey. 

Awakening

July 7, 2011

The person I am is so far from the woman I want to be.
My heart longs for someone deeper.
I know I'll never reach the finish line until the day you call me home.
What an amazing day!

I'm stuck in a place where I'm so overwhelmed by my present and future responsibility.
The lives that will be changed as a result of my faith. 
How the prayers I pray have so much weight.
You call me a leader.
You say I am set apart.

My heart hurts for them.
A wound I don't think can ever heal.
Though it fades as I decide to step off the path set before me.
To say I don't know your voice would be a lie.
I've heard you call my name so clearly.

I never remember the feeling of being lost.
You've always had my heart.
But not like this.
I run towards you with every ounce of strength in my fragile body.
Not a worthy sacrifice but a beautiful offering.

I just wish that they understood.
The beauty at can rise from the ashes.
That you can restore and bring us so close that we never felt broken.

I hope I live my life worthy of the call I've received.
That one day there will be change in just one single heart.
That is enough.

I love you.
Most.